Would you kill my wife?
by Little Lady
Summary: 5xSP What can I say... a joke off of funny.com I rewrote with my fav couple *wonder who they could be?* I dont care if you review but please read it!


Would you kill my wife?   
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing (DAMNIT!) or the joke titled "Would   
you kill my wife" the real author is Combat Chuck from funny.com and GW   
belongs to whoever the hell owns it.  
  
Author's Note: Wow...I don't know how I got this. Well actually I do -_-*   
I was reading the jokes at www.funny.com and I came across one that made  
me laugh hysterically. I remembered it a few days later after reading GW   
fics then thought 'hmm I wonder what I could write with that one joke  
and my favorite GW couple?' So I'm warning you now; I did come up with   
something and this, shockingly, is it. Bum, bum, bum.   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
One day, five months after Sally and Wufei's wedding, our favorite   
blue eyed Preventer wasn't feeling so good.   
  
"Wufei I think I should stay home from work today." Sally said to  
her husband in a congested voice.   
  
"You look fine." was all Wufei said in response.   
  
"You just don't want to do all my work. Bastard..."  
  
"It's not the work I care about it's your health and right now I   
think you'll survive a day at work."  
  
"I'm a *doctor*, damnit!"  
  
"Oh..." 'Shit. She's right.' "Fine. Stay home."   
  
Sally smiled and held her arms out to hug Wufei.   
  
"Don't touch me if your sick!" he exclaimed.   
  
Sally made a pissed face and held up the middle finger on her right  
hand.   
  
"I love you too." Wufei said and left.   
  
  
It was about noon and Wufei wasn't even done filling out half the  
stack of papers on his desk. He sighed when he remembered how he had to   
finish Sally's too. (AN: Screw the law that says two married people can't  
work at the same place!)  
  
He started to feel bad about leaving Sally home alone. He pictured   
her sleeping on the couch, the TV blaring some daytime soap opera.   
  
'Poor woman.' he thought and shook his head. He picked up the phone  
to call her.   
  
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!  
  
"Damnit woman! Your sick not disabled!"  
  
"Hello?" came an unfamiliar female voice.  
  
'What the hell?' Wufei thought. Who could possibly be at his house  
other than his wife? Well lets see, Hilde was in Hawaii with Duo on their   
honeymoon, Noin and Zechs went to pick up their son from daycare, Lady Une  
was bitching out some guy in the next room for watching illegal porn on the  
TV in the lounge, and Heero finally shot Relena two months ago.   
  
"Who is this?" Wufei asked the woman.   
  
"The maid." the lady replied.   
  
"We don't have a maid." Wufei said in a questioning tone.   
  
"I was just hired today by the lady of the house." the maid   
explained.   
  
"Well this is her husband. Where is she now?" Wufei asked.'That  
weakling is using my money to hire someone else to do her job!'  
  
"Umm, upstairs in her room with some man who I thought was her   
husband." The maid answered truthfully.   
  
'What the fucking hell?!?!' Wufei thought. 'Not even a year into   
our marriage and that baka woman is already cheating! I'll show that   
pathetic onna not to play me!'  
  
He was royally pissed. "How would you like to make $50,000?" he   
asked the maid.   
  
"Sure. What do I have to do?" the maid asked.   
  
"Go into the living room. There should be a desk. Look in the   
drawers; there should be a gun in one of them with atleast two bullets."  
Wufei instructed her.   
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"I want you to shoot that bitch and the asshole she's with." Wufei  
finsihed.   
  
"Ok, hold on." the maid said.   
  
Wufei heard the maid put down the phone, find the gun, walk up   
the steps and two gunshots.   
  
The maid came back to the phone. "What do you want me to do with   
the bodies?"   
  
"Bury them behind the bamboo trees in the backyard." Wufei answered.   
  
"Um...there are no bamboo trees in the backyard."   
  
"What? No bamboo trees?!" Wufei exclaimed.   
  
Silence.   
  
"Is this 832-4821?" he asked.  
  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
  
I know, that was really OOC. But where's the fun without it? I'd love  
to hear what you guys think and if you want to you can go check out the   
actual joke on www.funny.com!   
  
Thanks always for reading!  
  
Little*Lady  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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